paranoia kills me, help!

so i have some kind of paranoia. im so paranoid if i have to face a new places, with new people, my mind tries to screw me up. it keeps telling me "hey they're mean, they dont like you" im sooo sick with this mind.
and the fact that im into university now, new place obviously, new people totally makes me scare, yes scare.
for some people i know it's funny but for me, it's creepy. i have to fight with this such feeling. i hate the feeling of unaccepted in new places. well in the reality, they welcome well, they're nice to me, but still my mind keeps thinking bad. maybe i have some trouble with my mind. too much movie maybe haha.
so im trying so hard to escape from this fear, this paranoid thing, i make new friends, just to make sure im not gonna be alone there. im happy knowing this, really happy.
im working on this paranoia, i hope soon i'll be okay if i have to face a new place, and my minds telling me "they love you" i do hope so!

life is like piano

life is like piano it depends on how good you play so you can compose a beautiful melody into song.
it's all depends on your willing whether to make a beautiful melody or just a monoton one.

the one who can make your life up is your own self, never ever wish someone can make it up for you.
happiness is not to be found but it is to be made. so dont waste your life to find where your piece of happiness are because you might not realize  little things can make you happy too.

i'm obviously who i am

Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life? - paulo coelho

i think it's okay if we're being narsistic 

you need to love yourself before you love others

black long sweater - come, unbranded scarf

unbranded bag from local store  

pictures have said it all

my hands are so itchy to post some photos up. im gonna post some photos up. random photos. i believe behind every single photos that has been captured it has their own story and memory. photos are the only thing that you can always see, remember, because someday you may forget about it but photos can remind you.
i post some photos that have been taken lately.

so this is brand new photo. yay. with my mates. it was taken in monumen serangan umum 11 maret or something i dont know the exact name hehe. we're all waiting the photo session so yeah we took photo.

me with mybestfriend echol and eska, we're soo camera geek haha.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words" - donna roberts

 me and rosa, i like the flower detail on my ear on this photo.

this one was taken on my yearbook photo's session, it was on monorail at tugu station. i love this! and this photo left to right : echol - me- etta - mba cicie - eska
so mbak cicie is the photographer's gf she helped us during the photo session. she is so beautiful. envy her :D

this one such a shame photo seriously hahaha we acted to be nerd. it had been taken when we had our practical exam, france pratical exam. we look so nerd,dont we ?

menjelang hari besarku

rasanya tidak karuan. rasa takut, deg-degan semua bercampur jadi satu menjadi rasa yang bahkan susah dijelaskan dengan kata-kata. perasaan yang bercampur aduk mengiring pengumuman UN. Seandainya saja pemberitaan di media massa tidak semenakutkan itu mungkin saya atau lebih tepatnya kami juga tidak akan setegang ini. Sayangnya pemberitaan di koran, televisi, atau bahkan di beberapa website menyatakan tingkat kelulusan begini-begitu. saya sih inginnya mengabaikan, tapi bagaimana ? tetap saja pemberitaan itu memberikan efek buat saya. saya yang tadinya tenang jadi galau, resah. Ahh. Tapi saya yakin Tuhan sudah merencanakan segala sesuatunya indah untuk kita semua. Kita hanya bisa berpasrah dan tetap berpikir positif. bahwa segala hasil usaha dan kerja keras kita selama berbulan-bulan berbuah manis untuk kita semua dan kita semua bisa LULUS. Amin.

eat, pray, love- elizabeth gilbert

   People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
   
  A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
  
 A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...

life is . . .

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

words speak

mata hatimu terbeli oleh uang

aku benci fakta bahwa uang membutakan
membutakan pikiran, mata hati, dan perasaan
membutakan dirimu bahwa diluar sana banyak orang menderita karenamu
banyak orang yang harus menanggung sesuatu yang tidak mereka lakukan
aku tahu uang memang penting
tapi apakah demi uang juga anda rela menukar kebahagiaan orang lain ?
pernahkah anda melihat sekeliling anda ?
banyak orang tersakiti cuma karena obsesi anda akan uang

high school never ends

3 years ago i didnt know anything about you
3 years ago we were stranger for each other 
3 years ago we were mate but not close as we are now
3 years ago was not fun as now

3 years we've been going thru bad times and good times.
we smile, we laugh, we cry together
we share anything
we talk about life
we talk about our dreams
we talk anything
we are gossiping too
we do crazy thing
we chill
we hang out together
we do dozen things together

high school may be end very soon
but our friendship no
no, it wont
it'll be forever and always

and i just wanna say this to you all
I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

complete

i accidently downloaded this song few days ago. i thought thats parachute song. well no matter who is the singer. i love this song. this song titled complete and i just found the lyric is good. this song was about love for god, jesus actually. here's the lyric 

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart
I offer up my life

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to You Lord
In Your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now
Let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
And I will be complete in You

Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see
Beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in You

I will be complete in
I will be complete in You

so many things happened. im tired. im sick of everything. im sick of everyone. i cant stand it anymore. some people just asked me much things and i dont know if i can fulfil all or not. I screw everything up. I messed everything.
you just another story that make me tired.
you're hot and cold
cold more hot less.
hate more love less.
swearing more sweet words less.
i dont understand you anymore. i dont think i do.

i am tired. i don't want to think anymore ....

''sometimes the wrong train can take us to the right place "

paulo coelho

"moving on is never easy but atleast i know i'm trying"

green is always my favorite ♥

everything with green color is always good. feels like im being part of nature. anyway im gonna post some photos when i was on holiday months ago.


i ♥ green grass


i woof the citylights :D

march tough time

i named this march as a tough times. so many ups and downs. so many things happened to me. and i just can thank god because i went through it well.
i have so many exam at school recently, that's the concequences of being in senior year. but it almost over, so yeah no need to worry or complain.
but i realize jesus and mary really love me. they gimme everything i need and i ask for. they help me to go through all things. i screwed some things up and im glad that i've given chance to fix it.

when life breaks you down keep smiling on them , and says that you're the winner

and i post anything

i will post anything up. all things i like, i hate, i love. i post anything.